You Are Cordially Invited
by Azkadellio
Summary: Anonymous request. After a horror filled dress shopping experience, Sam makes a bet with Freddie where the winner gets to wear a tux at the wedding, and the loser is forced to wear a dress. After the bet, Freddie loses, and is forced to go dress shopping and forced through pain filled hours to get ready to be the 'bride'. You are Cordially Invited to the Puckett wedding.


**This is my first attempt at Seddie. An anonymous reader asked me to do it, and I liked the idea, so I accepted. It's also my first attempt at something non-_'VicTORious'_, and where the main couple isn't a lesbian couple (not counting _'A New Beginning: A Freddie and Cat Story'_ since it is _'VicTORious'_ based.)**

**I hope I did okay, and I did well on the humor.**

**This takes place after the ends of _'iCarly'_, _'VicTORious'_, and _'Sam_ _&_ _Cat'_, obviously since it's a wedding. For this, the _'iCarly'_ finale didn't happen the way it did. Carly never moved to Italy with her dad. She stayed in Seattle. Sam did move to L.A., but moved back. Also, in _'#TheGreatTunaJump'_, Sam and Freddie got back together at the hospital.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _'iCarly'_ or any of the characters you'll see in this fic. The idea and plot is courtesy of an anonymous reader who messaged me, asking me to write this. From the beginning of Sam's vows to the ending of Freddie's vows is courtesy of the anonymous reader who asked me to write this. I use them with their permission.**

**Hope it turned out okay.**

**Bold Italics is a dream.**

**No POV**

"Why am I here again?" Sam asks, sitting on a bench inside of a dress shop, her long-time best friend going through racks of dresses.

"We're here to find you a wedding dress." Carly says, rolling her eyes at the blonde.

"I never said I wanted to wear a wedding dress." Sam says, eyes closed as Carly grabs a few different dresses.

"You're getting married. You're going to be a wife. Of course you're wearing a wedding dress." Carly says, walking towards Sam. "Now get up, and try these on." She says, dropping the three dresses she picked on Sam's lap.

"Do I have to?" Sam whines, eyes opening when the dressed drop on her lap.

"Yes, now go." Carly says, dragging Sam up by the arms and dragging her towards the dressing rooms.

"Come on, let me see it." Carly says, excited, from the idea of seeing her best friend in a wedding dress.

"I think I'm gonna puke." Sam deadpans, walking out of the dressing room, a scowl on her face.

"You look so pretty." Carly gushes, standing up and walking towards Sam. "Give me a twirl, let me see how it looks." She says, stepping back.

"Ugh, fine." Sam says, slowly turning, groaning as she does. "I hate this thing." She says, her back now to Carly.

"Spin a little faster." Carly says, laughing, at the way Sam is acting.

"I can't." Sam says, almost facing Carly again. "It's too tight around my tits." She says, now facing Carly completely.

After a few hours, months to Sam, they arrive back at the apartment. After graduating high school, Sam moved back to Seattle. Since her mother moved out of Washington, Sam was allowed to move in with Carly and Spencer, the '_iCarly_' studio being turned into a double room for Carly and Sam to share, while Carly's old room was turned into a spare room for when their dad is over or something.

Freddie, still living with his mom since she refused to let him move out, regardless of him now being in his mid-twenties.

"How was dress shopping?" Freddie asks, trying not to laugh at the scowl on his fiance's face when she walks into the Shay apartment where Freddie is hanging out with Spencer to plan the bachelor party.

"Shut. Up." Sam says, heading into the kitchen and grabbing the bowl of chips from the kitchen counter.

"What was so bad about it?" Freddie says, not hiding his laughter very well. "Oh, I'm lucky I don't have to what you have to." He says, shaking his head, not seeing the glare from Sam.

"Excuse me?" Sam says, standing up, setting the bowl of chips on the table in front of the big screen.

"Well, I'm just saying..." Freddie says, stuttering at the glare on his fiance's face.

"Saying. What?" Sam asks, stepping towards Freddie, Carly and Spencer watching from the side.

"Uh, I was just, uh..." Freddie says, realizing he dug himself into a hole.

"Oh God." Carly says, looking away, ignoring what was about to happen.

"Let's have a bet." Sam says, smirking, at her fiancé.

"What are the stakes?" Freddie asks, concerned.

"Please don't bet the 'youse'." Carly says, remembering what they usually do.

"First things first." Sam says, keeping her smirk up. "Let's go over the bet itself before we do the stakes." She says, going to pick up the bowl of chips again as they talk, the Shay's temporarily forgotten.

"And the bet is...?" Freddie asks, keeping a cautious gaze on the blonde.

"I bet I can beat you at anything you can do, no matter what it is." Sam says, smirking when Freddie stares at her. "And since you and Spencer have been practicing fencing again, I bet I can beat you at fencing. Today." She adds smugly, smirking when Freddie stares at her, stunned.

"You do know I've won the last four competitions I've been in, right? I mean, you were there for all of them, cheering me on." Freddie said, his gaze not shifting from her.

"And the stakes?" Carly asks from beside Spencer, hesitant to want to know.

"Loser not only has to endure dress shopping, but also has to wear a wedding dress at the wedding, keep it on for the entire ceremony, and take the winner's last name." Sam says, smirking when the other three in the room all yell 'What!?' at her. "You heard me. Are you man enough to accept?" She asks her fiancé, her smirk growing.

"I accept." Freddie says after a few seconds, sounding slightly smug himself. "You have no training in fencing, a sport that pretty much runs in my blood. Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks, his attitude shifting from shocked to smug.

"I don't back down, remember?" Sam asks, just as smug as before.

"What about when you checked yourself into an insane asylum because you fell in love with him?" Spencer asks, flinching when the blonde glares at him. "Never mind." He says, looking away.

"I can't believe you lost." Carly says, dragging Freddie into the same dress shop she was in three days ago with Sam, when the bet thing started.

"How was I supposed to know she's been secretly practicing since we got back together when she was in L.A.?" Freddie asks, groaning as Carly pushes him onto a bench.

"Doesn't matter. You know Sam doesn't lose." Carly says, grabbing a few dresses and tossing them onto Freddie's lap.

"Oof." Freddie says when the dresses land, turning a glare to Carly. "Did you have to throw them on me?" He asks, standing up with the dresses when Carly just looks at him.

"Yes. It's your fault for accepting the bet. Now you have to deal with it." Carly says, angry.

Like Sam before, Freddie is forced to wear multiple dresses, none of them fitting. "I think you need a corset." Carly says, looking through more dresses as Freddie collapses on the bench, groaning.

"WHAT!?" Freddie, yells, embarrassed from trying on so many wedding dresses, and now one of his best friends saying he needs a corset. "What for?" He asks, jumping up and heading towards Carly.

"These dresses are too tight on you because you don't have a woman's body type." Carly says, searing through the dress selections. "And a dress made especially for your body type would be too expensive." She adds, finding a white strapless one. "Try it on. I'll talk to the cashier to see if they sell corsets or if they know where to find one." She says, pushing the dress in his hands and walking away, ignoring the sounds of protest from Freddie and the odd glances for the employees and other dress shoppers.

"Sometimes, I think my friends hate me." Freddie mumbles, ignoring the slight glance he gets from a tanned brunette who was about to grab the dress Carly just handed him.

The dress is the traditional white. It's a bustier-top with the dress portion widening as it goes down, starting at the same size as his waist and spreading out as it reaches the bottom, ending at almost triple the size it started out, frills circling from the waist down to the bottom of the dress. From the bustier-like top to the waist, it tapers, giving a slim appearance. The back shows the upper back of Freddie's body, barely showing below the shoulder blades. The zipper is hidden by the material of the dress, giving the illusion that the dress is all one piece.

Shortly after Freddie walks into the dressing room, Carly returns with the information that the dress shop does sell corsets, they just need the sizes. "Not bad actually." Carly says with a smile when Freddie walks out of the dressing room, a bright blush on his cheeks at having to try on the dress.

"If I die before the wedding, do you think Sam would be pissed?" Freddie asks, eyes down, as Carly looks over the dress.

"Probably. I know I would be." Carly says after a couple of passes around Freddie. "Oh, they do sell corsets here. After you change back to your clothes, go over the the woman by the registers and tell her Carly sent you. She'll get you fitted." She says, pushing him back into the dressing room.

A few minutes later, Freddie walks towards the desk with two women, one working the register and the other on the desktop computer typing something, the dress he tried on in hand, per Carly's request/order.

With little hesitation, Carly drags Freddie to the back rooms, the woman working the computer leading the way, where Freddie is ordered to strip to his boxers to be measured for the corset to make him fit into the dress, a process he knows won't be unpleasant.

Sure enough, after having his stomach and lower chest squeezed tight by the corset picked for him and ordered to try the dress on again, where he doesn't notice how the dress squeezes him because of the corset. After being ordered to take the dress and corset of, Freddie breathes a sigh of relief, thinking he's done for the day after Carly tells the woman that they're taking the dress and the corset.

"Next stop, the salon." Carly says as Freddie gets in the passenger seat of the ex-web star's car, the dress and corset in boxes in the trunk.

"Wait, why a salon?" Freddie asks, eyes popping open to stare at Carly, starting to hyperventilate. "I thought we were done?"

"Not even close. We still have to shave all your body hair off, you can't be a bride and have hair anywhere other than the top of the head and eyebrows, and we also have to get you a manicure and pedicure as well as make up, nail polish, and hair extensions. Your hair is way too short for a wedding." Carly says, taking a few turns as she heads towards the beauty salon.

"You're just doing this to torture me, aren't you? You'd have never done this for Sam." Freddie asks, hopeful.

"Everything other than the waxing and hair extensions." Carly says as she pulls into the parking lot of a popular salon in Seattle. "Yeah, I would." She adds, shutting of her car and opening the door.

"I'm not going in there." Freddie says, refusing to undo his seatbelt.

"Yes, you are. You lost the bet that you accepted, knowing full well what would happen if you did." Carly demands, closing her door and walking towards the passenger door, opening it and undoing the seatbelt before pulling Freddie out, surprising both her and Freddie at how she managed to do it, regardless of Freddie having the muscle to stop her. "Now move, you have a wedding to prepare for." She says, slamming the door closed after pulling Freddie out, locking the door as she drags him to the salon doors.

"Hi." The receptionist says as Carly and a humiliated Freddie walk in. "Name?" She asks, not affected by the situation she sees.

"Shay." Carly says, preventing Freddie from running.

"Of course. Right this way." The receptionist says, giving Freddie a weird look when Carly pushes him forward.

"He lost a bet and has to be the bride at his wedding. His fiancé was supposed to be here, but she won the bet, so now he is." Carly explains, knowing what the receptionist wanted to ask.

"Ok." The receptionist, Monica according to her name tag, says with a confused smile as she leads Freddie to the chairs. "What all are we doing today?" She asks, guiding Freddie into the chair.

"Waxing, manicure, pedicure, make up, and we need some extensions for his hair." Carly answers, following them.

"Kill me." Freddie begs Monica, upset when she shakes her head no and Carly sends him a glare.

Immediately, Freddie is dragged to the back by one of the male beauticians, to strip and be completely waxed, a horrofyingly painful experiance for Freddie. Being layed down on a table and the male beautician, Nick as Freddie is told, puts the hot wax over various spots of Freddie's body, putting the waxing strips on and pulling them off, flinching at the pained yell Freddie releases each time. After nearly an hour, and every hair on Freddie's body is waxed off, leaving only the hair on his head and his eyebrows, even his facial hair was painfully waxed off. After being led to the chair, Monica starts to cut his hair a bit, figuring out the best spots for the har extensions to be added.

Three excruciatingly painful hours later, after walking in and getting almost his entire body waxed and massaged, his hair cut and slightly styled for the hair extensions, his nails cut and fake nails added and cut to fit, Freddie and Carly leave the salon, Freddie wincing in pain as they walk.

"Never accept a bet with Sam." Carly says with a smug smile as they get to her car. "One more stop before we go home. You just get the food, I'll get the last of the supplies." She says as they pull into a small shopping area.

"I think I want a divorce from Sam already." Freddie says, closing the door behind him as he gets out.

"And then she'll beat you with the butter sock she's kept in the freezer since before she moved to L.A." Carly points out, walking towards a small accessory story. A half hour later, as the pizza Freddie ordered to-go is done, Carly walks up to him, a medium-sized bag in her right hand, her purse over her right shoulder.

"What did you buy?" Freddie asks, cautious, as he picks up the pizza and heads towards Carly's car with her.

"You'll see." She says with a smile, unlocking the car.

Three months later, and another painful visit to the salon for another waxing, Carly pulls up to the apartment where she and the rest of the 'bride' party are staying, Sam and the 'groom' party already at another apartment across town.

"No chance in us just getting hitched in Vegas?" Freddie asks as Carly drags him through the lobby.

"No." Carly, the bridesmaid, says as Cat Valentine, Sam's roommate in L.A., and Melanie nod in agreement.

"Stupid 24 hour tradition." Freddie says as he follows Cat and Melanie, Carly behind him to prevent his escape, up the stairs to the apartment.

After the required 24 hours that the bride and groom unable to see each other before the wedding, Freddie and the three girls pull into the church where the wedding will take place, Cat with the dress, Melanie the corset, and Carly with the make up and supplies.

"Go put your dress on." Carly says, pushing Freddie into the room and walking away with the other two girls to check on the wedding decorations.

Across the church, where the 'groom' is getting ready, Sam smiles at her tuxedo, happy to wear something she likes, as opposed to any of the hundreds of dresses Carly tried to get her to wear. Back on the 'bride's' side, Freddie stares at the dress, hatred and resentment in his eyes, wishing the material would spontaneously combust.

A half hour before the wedding ceremony starts, Carly and the other two girls walk in to check on Freddie, appalled that he's not in his corset and dress yet. "Freddie! Why aren't you dressed yet?" Carly asks as she and the other girls quickly head towards Freddie to get him ready.

Reluctantly, Freddie puts on the dress, scowling the entire time, as he fights to breath because of the tightness of the corset that Carly put on. "Shouldn't he be wearing a tux? He is they guy, right?" Cat asks, not-so-quietly asking Melanie as she prepares the make up and hair extensions.

"Please stop asking that." Freddie asks, annoyed at the frequency of the question, since random people have been asking him that since the day in the dress shop when he first got fitted for the corset.

Immediately after Freddie's comment, Carly and the others start to get him ready. Cat is in charge of doing his make up, while Carly starts adding the extensions to his hair, styling them to a side bun on the left side of his head, and Melanie starts putting on the jewelery; a blue bracelet on his right wrist bought by Carly while she and Freddie were at the mall, taking care of the 'something blue', as well as something he barely feels near his head.

Freddie, throughout all of this, has his eyes closed, per Cat's order. He can feel the make up being applied, but can't tell what colors since Carly refused to let hm find out. While Carly works with the extensions, he feels who he assumes is Melanie, since she's the one on 'accessory' duty as Cat said when Carly gave the marching orders, putting something in the right side of his hair, clipping it in.

Nearing ten minutes later, Carly tells him he can open his eyes. What he sees causes him to shudder in horror at what he sees.

The extensions Carly put in his hair are the same shade as his hair, making it look natural, while the side bun on the left side looks professionally done. On the right side of his head is a pink flower, he doesn't know the type, making the pink lip stick, eye shadow, and blush Cat put on him pop.

While he stares in horror, he sees Cat coming up behind him, the veil in her hand, a tiara with it. First, she puts on the tiara, the base setting in the same position seen with the winner of the Miss America pageant, a shine silver with pink and purple stones set in it. Next is the veil, placed under the tiara somehow, Freddie has no idea how this was all planned, and the veil sitting over his face.

Before they can leave, Sam's and Melanie's mother, Pam, walks in, a smile on her face. She walks up to her soon-to-be son/daughter-in-law, a small box in hand.

"Hello Freddie." The older woman, who looks a lot like Spencer did when he pretended to be her that day they tried to get Sam out of the mental hospital she checked herself into when Sam thought she was crazy because she started to like Freddie.

"Hello Pam." Freddie says, not hiding the pain and humiliation he feels.

"I wanted to give you this to wear. Sam refuses to, and it's a tradition in the Puckett family to wear this on the wedding day of the eldest girl, or the first to get married at least." Pam says, giving the nice daughter a smile before looking back to Freddie. "Every woman in the family has worn this, from my great-grandmother to me, and I would be honored if you wore it." She says with a smile. "Being the bride and all." She adds, much to the chagrin of Freddie.

"Fine, I'll wear it." Freddie says, accepting it with no argument, knowing it's useless because of the bet he stupidly made with Sam.

"Thank you Freddie." Pam says, opening the box and taking out the necklace, a diamond necklace shaped like a small circle, a shine silver chain attached. When Pam puts it on, the diamond stops at his 'breasts', don't ask how Carly managed to essentially give him boobs over pecks, the silver chain cold against his bare neck.

As Pam leaves, Carly, the Maid of Honor, grabs a pair of earrings Freddie missed when he glanced at everything the girls were going to use on him for the wedding. The earrings, a pink diamond that looks similar to the necklace Pam asked him to wear, just smaller and not on a chain, look intimidating to Freddie, who has never has his ears pierced. Not giving Freddie a chance to argue, Carly pushes them in his ear lobes, connecting the stopper to them while Melanie puts on a bracelet on the opposite wrist than what she did earlier while Carly was doing his make up.

"I hope I look that pretty on my wedding day." Cat says, packing up the make up with Melanie's help.

"You'll look better, I promise you." Melanie says, giving her girlfriend a kiss.

"Kill me." Freddie begs Carly after Cat's 'pretty' comment, as she and Melanie drag him out of the room, Cat opening the door for them.

"Nope." Carly answers, guiding him to where the ceremony is taking place.

"I told you that Sam was bad news." Freddie's mother, Marissa, says as they near the entry way, also wearing a suit like the 'father' of the bride is supposed to.

"Yeah yeah." Freddie says, the veil partially hiding his face.

Walking down the aisle, Freddie and Marissa Benson have matching scowls on her face, Freddie's hidden because of the veil, but Marissa's clear as the two walk down. Getting to where Sam and the confused priest stand, Marissa, the 'father' of the 'bride' hands Freddie over, sitting down beside a now happily crying Cat and Melanie.

"He looks so pretty." Freddie hears from a few rows behind Cat, the voice of one of Cat's best friends Tori beside her girlfriend Jade, another of Cat's friends.

"Eh, I've seen better." He hears Jade say.

Standing in front of the congregation, the priest asks Freddie and Sam to give their vows, Sam going first.

"Today, I become your wife." Sam starts, saying 'wife' so only Freddie and the priest hear clearly. "And you become my husband." She says, 'husband' in a low whisper. "I will strive to give you the best of myself, while accepting you the way you are. I promise you to respect you as a whole person with your own interests, desires, and needs, and to realize that those are sometimes different, but no less important than my own. I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you in to my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams. I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change as we both change, keeping our relationship alive and exciting. And finally, I promise to love you in good times and in bad, will all I have to give and all that I am, in the only way I know how, completely and forever."

"You cry, and I kill you." Carly warns Freddie when she sees Freddie's eyes start to well up with tears, knowing the make up isn't water proof.

"Freddie." The priest says, nodding to Freddie to continue.

"Sam, I take you to be my wife." He starts, taking a page out of Sam's book and whispering the last word, keeping it between them and the priest about the bet. "Together, we will create a home, becoming a part of one another. I vow to help create a life that we can cherish, inspiring your love for me and mine for you. I vow to be honest, caring and truthful, to love you as you are and not as I want you to be, and to grow old by your side as your love and best friend." He finishes, smiling at Sam, not minding the dress as much at the moment.

The ceremony goes well, minus Freddie being the 'bride' over Sam. After giving their vows, the priest continues with Freddie's least favorite moment of the wedding. "Ladies and gentleman, Mr. and Mrs. Puckett. You may now kiss the, bride." The priest says at the end, hesitating at the last word. He, along with everyone else, watch as Sam leans forward to give her 'wife' a kiss, everyone in the pews clapping.

"I now pronounce Mr. Freddie Puckett and Mrs. Samantha Puckett." The priest says, staring at the newlyweds.

A half hour later, the group are at the large room rented for the reception. Sitting on the stage in the front of the room, Freddie sits in the middle, Sam to his right, with Carly and the bridesmaids on his left, and Gibby, Robbie, and André sitting on Sam's right.

The reception goes well, other than the constant use of the word 'bride' when talking about Freddie. André gets up and heads to the DJ, calling over the microphone that it's time for the first dance of the married couple. The two start to dance, Freddie keeping his head down because of everyone calling the him the bride as they dance. After the first dance, more music plays and the rest of the guests get on the dance floor and dances, couples paired up and singles dancing amongst themselves or with a small group of others.

"Ladies and gentleman, it's time for the tossing of the bouquet." André calls over the microphone, watching as the single women head to the floor, and somehow Jade got dragged into the group with Cat.

Turning around, groaning as he does, Freddie gets the bouquet ready to toss, closing his eyes as he turns. After a few seconds, Freddie tosses the bouquet, eyes never opening. His eyes open when he hears the familiar squeak of happiness from his sister-in-laws girlfriend. He turns around to see Cat bouncing up and down, Jade looking at her with a mix of relief at not catching the bouquet and annoyance at Cat's excited chatter.

A moment later, the single guys walk into the middle of the room, Tori and Melanie in the mix as well. Turning around, a big smile on her face, Sam tosses the garter belt. She turns around quickly, curious to see who catches it. Much to her surprise, as Tori goes to reach for it, the garter belt flies through Tori's hands and lands in Melanie's hands, a surprised look in her eyes.

"Congrats Mel. You and Cat are next to be married." Sam says, giving her twin a quick hug before heading over the Freddie.

After the dancing and bouquet/garter toss, Trina, Tori's sister who was hired as the wedding planner, goes up and announces that it's time for the pictures of the bride and groom as well as the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

"No. No pictures. I am not having pictures taken of me in this stupid dress." Freddie argues as he's dragged by Sam and Gibby towards the silk material used as the back drop for the photos.

"Too bad. You lost the bet, now you have to do all the things the bride does." Sam says with a smirk as she holds his arm tight as Courtney Van Cleef, someone from Cat's days in school, takes the photos as her brother Sinjin uploads them online to his sister's photography site.

After a few photos of just him and Sam, he's forced to have pictures taken of him, the Maid of Honor, and and the bridesmaids Cat and Melanie. After a few of those pictures, Freddie is forced to take pictures with his upset mother, still in her tuxedo.

"Is it too late to get a divorce?" Freddie asks his mother as Courtney takes the pics.

"Don't look at me." Marissa says, her hair combed back to hide it's length. "I told you since day one she's bad news. You never listened." She says, neither of them smiling.

"I look like a girl. I'm girlyer than Carly, Cat, and Melanie." Freddie groans when Courtney takes the last pic. "Are we done with the stupid pictures?" He asks, about to walk away.

"Nope. Now for the pictures with the guests." Jade says with a smirk as she leads Tori to Freddie.

"Be nice Jade." Tori tells her girlfriend.

After close to fifteen minutes, all the pictures are done, and Freddie finally sits down at the table, his feet sore from the heels he's forced to wear. Beside him, Sam arrives, a smug smile on her face, after getting her pictures taken in the spot beside where Freddie was, a friend of Freddie's from school taken the second group of pictures.

"Did you learn anything, Freddifer?" Sam asks, using a new nickname for him because of him wearing the dress.

"Never accept a bet with you, and get a very good divorce lawyer." Freddie sighs out, eyes closed, as his head rests on his forearms on the table.

"I'll take it." Sam says with a laugh.

An hour later, Freddie is allowed to to change out of the dress, with Carly's help to try to get the zipper down.

"What's taking so long?" Freddie asks, louder than intended, when Carly has yet to get the zipper down after a few minutes of trying.

"It's stuck." Carly says, stifling her laughter.

"What?!" Freddie says, turning around to face her. "What do you mean it's stuck?" He asks her, eyes widening in fear.

"From what it looks like, the string used to keep the corset tight got stuck in the zipper, and now the zipper won't go past it." Carly says, turning Freddie around to try again, failing.

"Fuck!?" Freddie yells, trying to pull the front of the dress off, having no luck because of the expertly done stitching on the dress.

"Relax. Okay." Carly says, trying to calm Freddie down. "Just go out and hang out for a bit. Maybe dancing or something will loosen it up." She says, pushing him towards the door that leads to the room.

A few hours later, with the reception dying down, Freddie is dragged out the doors by Sam, leaving the others to clean up the room, as they go to get ready for the honeymoon.

On the ride to the apartment, Freddie falls asleep, tired from the nerves and everything since he stupidly accepted the bet with Sam.

_**Waking up from a rest-filled sleep, Freddie rolls out of a slumbering Sam's grip and heads to the bathroom to do his business. Lifting up the seat, he gets prepped, then stops when he notices something.**_

_**"Where the hell are my balls!?" Freddie yells, feeling the area, hoping he's just imagining things.**_

_**"What's with the yelling?" Sam asks, still partially asleep, as she walks into the bathroom.**_

_**"Where are my balls?" He asks, turning to face Sam, not hiding himself like expected.**_

_**"What do you mean your balls?" Sam asks, a small smirk growing on her face as she turns around and grabs something from the dresser. "You mean my balls, Freddifer." She says, opening the small jewelery box, revealing Freddie's missing nuts.**_

"What the hell?!" Freddie says, jumping up from his spot in the limo seat.

"What's your problem?" Sam asks, staring at Freddie.

"Oh good, they're still there." Freddie says, feeling himself between the legs, his eyes opening when he realizes something. "Fuck. I'm still in this stupid dress." He notes, turning to face Sam.

"What the hell is your problem?" Sam asks, staring at her 'bride' in confusement.

"Nothing." He says, closing his eyes again and resting his head against the head rest of the limo seat.

The rest of the ride to the apartment is filled with Freddie trying to tear the dress off, to no success.

Arriving at the apartment, the two quickly heading in and up to the elevator. Freddie because he wants no one to see him in the dress, and Sam because she wants to consummate the marriage in the bedroom of the apartment that is now officially theirs.

Pushing the door open, Sam scoops Freddie up, carrying him in the traditional bridal carry that the husband does, much to Freddie's chagrin.

"Take that dress off." Sam says, slamming the door closed and locking it, not caring that they're in the living room of the apartment, as she stifles her laughter at Freddie still in the dress.

"If I could, I would've by now." Freddie says, trying to pull the dress off.

"What do you mean, you could if you would?" Sam asks, her attitude shifting from fighting laughter to getting pissed, all that's left on her body is her bikini cut panties and half cup bra.

"I already tried. Carly tried to get the zipper down for me to change. Every attempt failed." Freddie says, throwing all the accessories and hair extensions off and trying, and failing, to take the dress off again.

"What?!" Sam yells, glaring at her new 'wife'. "Fuck." She yells, running forward and forcing Freddie to turn him around. Grabbing the zipper, she tries with all her might to rip the zipper off, to no avail. "No, dammit! I need to get laid!" She yells, trying again with the zipper.

Over the next few days, Sam starts to get more horny as Freddie gets more frustrated at being unable to take the dress off. Unfortunately, Freddie is still stuck in the wedding dress as they fly to their honeymoon in Hawaii.

"I wanted to join the mile high club but no, you just had to get your dress stuck." Sam says with a scowl on her face as the plane departs for Hawaii.

"Shut up." Freddie says, glaring at his 'groom'.

**This is the end of my first '_iCarly_' one-shot. Don't expect too much more, to be honest.**

**I know I said 'VicTORious' has little to do with this one-shot, but I felt using more than just Sam would fit with this. Hope it didn't take too much from the fic.**

**I hope I did okay, I tried to keep this humorous, but I don't know how I did. I'm never a good judge when it comes to my own stuff.**

**To the anonymous reader who asked me to do this, I hope I meet whatever expectations you might've had for this, and I thank you for being so understanding about everything.**

**Thank you for reading. Please leave a review if you wish.**

**Blessed Be.**


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